多到可以集結成「羅禮士的真相」（Chuck Norris Facts）
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
羅禮士的日曆在 3/31 之後就是 4/2：沒有人可以愚弄羅禮士。 (註：想想 4/1 是什麼日子...)
The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
Kenny G is allowed to live because Chuck Norris doesn’t kill women.
羅禮士不殺女人，所以 Kenny G 有權利活著。
In his will, Chuck Norris has specified that if he dies, he will bury himself.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Chuck Norris' Doesn't wear a Watch, he Decides what Time it is.
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number; you answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
When children go to bed, they take a teddy bear with them. When Chuck Norris goes to bed, he takes a grizzly bear with him.
Chuck Norris owns a custom belt sander with three settings: Low, High, and Shave.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
一間民宅的客廳裏平均會有 1242 種羅禮士可拿來殺人的物品，包括客廳本身。
Chuck Norris always makes the shower head cry.
After a shower, Chuck Norris dosen't need a towel, he just tells the water to get the hell off!
Chuck Norris can tie cherry stems with his ear.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Chuck Norris has a stunt double. For crying scenes.
Chuck Norris was denied auditioning for "Mission Impossible", for obvious reasons.
Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
「24 小時反恐任務」本來是要找羅禮士來演的，但後來不得不換角：因為他在 12 分 37 秒時就全數殲滅恐怖份子。
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies...... As The Force.
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he’s not acting.
The phrase ‘dead ringer’ refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
英雄：出處：Wayne's Blog (http://mstar.pixnet.net/blog)
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris signal.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke... that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris.
When you celebrate your birthday, you do not celebrate the date of your birth, you celebrate that Chuck Norris allowed you to live another year.
Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
Firefighters save the fire from Chuck Norris.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
羅禮士比 YA! 時表示：你還有兩秒鐘可活。
Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Chuck Norris credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.
Chuck Norris met an exclamation point and punched it in the face. We now have questions.
Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
科學：出處：Wayne's Blog (http://mstar.pixnet.net/blog)
Chuck Norris has lived on the sun, this period of time was known as the Ice Age.
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Light just wishes it was a fast as one of Chuck's fists.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
π (pi) 的最後一位數就是羅禮士，因為他終結任何事物。
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
羅禮士曾痛扁他的影子，因為老是跟他太近，現在影子都只敢離他 30 呎遠。
Chuck Norris is so intimidating even his reflection won't look back at him.
The sheep on Chuck Norris' farm are the ones that give us steel wool.
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris’ initials. This is not a coincidence.
劇毒「氰化物」的化學符號 CN 和羅禮士 (Chuck Norris) 名字的縮寫一樣：這並不是巧合。
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
羅禮士有 12 顆衛星，其中一顆是地球。
Chuck Norris once kicked the Earth, it hasn't stopped spinning.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
There are no mysteries in the universe. Only things that Chuck Norris hasn't shared with the rest of us.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
Chuck Norris can drown fish.
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a poisonous snake. after three das of excrutiating pain, the cobra died.
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic.
Chuck Norris donated his heart to a hospital.....twice.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris can measure his weight with a ruler.
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe; he holds air hostage.
The leading causes of death in the United States are 1.Heart Disease 2.Chuck Norris 3.Cancer.
美國三大死亡原因：1.心臟疾病 2.羅禮士 3.癌症。
Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.
Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just not his own.
電腦資訊：出處：Wayne's Blog (http://mstar.pixnet.net/blog)
There is no “ctrl” button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
比爾蓋茲一直活在擔心羅禮士的 PC 當機的恐懼中，終於受不了而退休了。
Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
絕對不要在 Google 上搜尋羅禮士，因為你找不到什麼資料，反而還會被他知道你在追蹤他。
(請在 Google 搜尋輸入「Chuck Norris」，然後點「好手氣」，Google 會告訴你：「在你還有機會時，快逃啊！」)
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
Chuck Norris can win rock, paper, scissors without using rock, paper, or scissors.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won
When Chuck Norris plays pac-man the ghosts stay in their box.
Chuck Norris has an Xbox Live account. On Playstation.
羅禮士有 XBox Live 的帳號：用 PS1 拿到的。
Chuck Norris flew his first paper airplane when he was 4 years old. It landed yesterday.
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
諺語：出處：Wayne's Blog (http://mstar.pixnet.net/blog)
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
You win some： you lose some. Chuck Norris wins ALL.
The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
There's no point in crying over spilled milk unless it's Chuck Norris' milk... then you're gonna die.
別為打翻的牛奶流淚 (別為無法挽救的事後悔)，除非你打翻的是羅禮士的牛奶...... 因為你死定了。
When you say “no one’s perfect”, Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.
Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please."
Jesus turned water into wine, Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
Chuck Norris cannot experience Death, but Death can experience Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
When Chuck Norris was asked if he believed that the world was going to end in 2012, he resonded: "Depends how I'm feeling that day."
有人問羅禮士相不相信 2012 年是世界末日，他回答「要看我那時心情好不好」。
Chuck Norris once played with Legos. The result was The Great Pyramids.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn’t even come close.
In World War II, The US could choose between an Atomic Bomb and Chuck Norris to punish Japan. The US choose the lighter punishment.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now called the Islands.
羅禮士曾到過維京群島 (Virgin Islands)......現在那邊就只叫「群島」(The Islands) 了。 (註解：Virgin 指「處女」)
In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris. The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq because Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.